This is an intensely personal post with a Glee slant. It may or may not go missing ultimately. I don’t know.
I’ve been reading a bit of fanfiction and one of the things I seem to irrationally hate is when Blaine’s parents turn out to be lovely but just misunderstood. He gets himself all worked up about telling them about Kurt and it turns out to be all just fine. Because all parents love their children in that mythical way we’re told they do. I have strong feelings about his parents ending up this way in canon. My reasons? Something like this:
- I am sometimes told that I do not give my parents enough credit for not disowning me. That they’re “doing what they can”. And my parents are lovely people, really. Everyone likes them. They come and stay in our home. They do not cause a scene (except that once and as long as I behave). We are allowed to stay in the same room at my parents’ home, but not the same bed. They offered to attend our wedding reception (my “party”) but were bewildered when I burst into tears and told them they weren’t invited.So, yeah, when I read that the Andersons never meant to make their son feel that way, I feel like my own feelings of rejection are invalid. Like every time a family member has said to me, “You don’t understand how far they’ve come,” I’m suddenly delusional and over dramatic and playing the victim. I am not a victim. But things have been done, and said, that will always be a part of how I see the world.
I want Blaine’s feelings to be based in reality because it’s so easy for others to tell us that we’re making a lot out of nothing. Which, to be honest, is rarely the case. They may be micro-aggressions, but they pile up.
- I really enjoy the exploration of how two people come together from such different places in life, especially when it comes to family relationships. Whatever about me being queer, my family was never one of those close families. My partner’s family is so much more open and honest and close (they have tickle fights). I had so many doubts in my life that I’d ever be able to be in a functional relationship. Even more doubts that I’d be in a functional relationship with someone who really had family. You know, nearby, talk everyday, part-of-your-life family. And it was a struggle. Sometimes it still is. Because I want to remove myself from the world of parents/grandparents in so many ways. I manipulated my university situation to ensure I’d be moving out at 18. My partner left home when she moved in with me.
I think I want somehow to see that in Kurt and Blaine. How Kurt, from a family that has had hard times, but still is close, and happy, and open, can somehow be a partner to someone whose sense of family will be so different from his own. And how someone from a family that isn’t accepting can understand how his partner sees the world in a less sinister light.