You’re all smart and creative people, so let’s have a go. Personally, I think Glee is pretty conservative in a lot of ways. But not Glenn Beck conservative. But do you think it’s possible for Glenn Beck (who, in fairness, does hold quite a lot of sway in the pockets of paranoid social conservatives) to pull off something that is as good as Glee but pushes a conservative agenda?
You know, it’d be fun to try.
Like any cynical project, we first have to start with the BIG NAMES who will star in it. Can Dean Cain sing? Is Mel Gibson the new Will Schuester? Which characters could remain entirely unchanged?
Would there be an Ann Coulter tribute episode? Or would she play The Substitute?
Ok, so using a list I found of Republican celebrities (because I don’t know many off the top of my head, or because there aren’t many, or because I didn’t follow these folks much to know their political leanings):
We’d be treated to songs by The Beach Boys, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and Alabama. Awesome! Since many popular artists wouldn’t license their music out (like we often see in political rallies, where the artists ask the Repub. candidate to stop using their song), Christian Rock artists would be all over this.
Figgins would be played by Kelsey Grammar, and there would never be an episode with a guest appearance by David Hyde Pierce.
I cannot figure out a role for Adam Sandler for the life of me. Maybe a janitor. Or Brad, but he’d play guitar instead of piano.
Ok, so I’m going off this list of Republican celebrities. Of course, we have to keep in mind that many of these are not Glenn Beck Republicans (Gloria Estefan is on this list and she’s been on real Glee, in a gay storyline no less).
JESSICA SIMPSON should most definitely feature.
The Glee club would, of course, never survive, because losers are LOSERS in Tea Party Conservativism, and the celebrated characters would all end up joining the Cheerios and celibacy club, while the kids remaining in glee club would get pregnant, drop out, shoot up heroin in the hallways because they’re gay and kill themselves or become infected with HIV at a public toilet somewhere in Wisconsin, turning tricks for meth. There’d be a touching storyline outlining how it’s important to remember that just because you’re interested in musical theatre doesn’t mean you have to like Rent.
Also, the God Squad would totally engage in dating evangelism, using sexy women to lure the guys into “the fold”. And it would be AWESOME.
Jars of Clay tribute episode. I’d watch.
The Hipsters would still be there; in fact they’d be the Vocal Adreneline of Beck’s Gleeverse. By and large, they look like most Tea Partiers, demographically speaking.