NEW Glee 3.05 “The First Time” Final Spoilers Roundup

Spoilers ahead. Do not proceed unless you want to know what’s going to happen and discuss it with us! There were more spoilers here in this post. And a lot of people are very interested in reading what Darren Criss had to say on the topic here.

Do you think I’ve wasted enough words that the spoilers won’t show on the Facebook page? Let’s hope so.

So ever since we were spoiled that Kurt and Blaine (and Rachel and Finn) were going to seal the deal in episode 5, there has been a lot of speculation. Not much speculation about Rachel and Finn, because I think we are all pretty clued in on how the media presents straight kids having sex. That said, this is Glee, so it might be worth speculating just a little bit.


Don't say I don't give you what you're looking for

Back to Kurt and Blaine, however, we actually know quite a lot. From what we can tell, Blaine convinces Kurt to go to a gay bar, using fake IDs. They encounter Dave Karofsky and new Warbler Sebastian (is that in the bar?). After the leave the bar, Blaine tries it on with Kurt and Kurt objects because he wants their first time to be special, not in the back seat of Blaine’s car.

We know they kiss on the stage in the auditorium. We know that there is a set for Blaine’s bedroom. We know that both couples will be seen to be using protection.

It took me a few minutes to catch on to why this was significant for Kurt and Blaine, but I got there eventually.

You see, there’s a lot of “I don’t know” when it comes to what constitutes losing your virginity when you’re queer. I’m not going into it again, but there is. So there was quite a lot of speculation about what exactly Kurt and Blaine would be doing. A lot of gay guys don’t do anal, so that certainly wasn’t a given. But since the condom spoiler came out, that seems more and more likely what we’re mean to believe is happening.

Oh, and Coach Beiste is meant to gain a love interest.

Have I got everything there? Missing anything? Is there anything in this episode we don’t know about?


6 thoughts on “NEW Glee 3.05 “The First Time” Final Spoilers Roundup

  1. I still say the Klaine condoms (Klondoms?) are for oral sex: I think it a fairy tale capitulation to “Family Values” and “treating the situation responsibly” — since kids are TOLD they’re supposed to use condoms/dental dams for oral sex, our boys are GOING to.

    Just my feeling on the subject. Unless we’re meant to believe that they’ve already been giving lots of awesome head, in which case “The First Time” becomes a misnomer for anything short of penetration I suppose.

  2. I was having this chat with someone else earlier. I don’t even know about the whole condoms for fellatio thing. Because my instinct is that it’s a choking hazard. And you know, I’m all for safer sex and everything but sucking hard on a throat-shaped latex thing seems like a recipe for disaster.

    If they’re using it for oral, I’m going to be worried that one of them is going to die. I know it should be the other way around, but my brain is a strange place.

  3. “I still say the Klaine condoms (Klondoms?) ”

    dontturnitoff you have officially made my day. I am going go be giggling about that word all week. Because I am 12 apparently.

  4. Has sex between two young lads ever actually been portrayed on prime time televison. By that i mean before midnight and not queer as folk or skins?

  5. Putting on my best safer sex educator voice and trying not to giggle (Granted when I did safer sex education, I dressed like a drag queen on acid and went to bars).

    There is a risk, albeit very small, of contracting HIV through fellatio. Condoms would mitigate that risk, as well as a risk of oral gonorrhea and the like. That being said the risk of contracting HIV via fellatio is usually a risk that many are prepared to take.

    Now, that there is a recognized risk of throat and mouth cancers from HPV, I might consider a condom for that as well.

    If you are using a condom for fellatio, I would just be a little more…handsy. That would help avoid any choking risk.

  6. I realise my comments are a tad flippant. I should probably state for clarity’s sake that it’s been a purely theoretical issue for me for a very, very long time.

    And yes, there are very good reasons to use barrier methods.

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