So we open with Will and the gang performing an exceptionally offensive rendition of La Cucaracha — a song I have never understood but was popular when I was a kid — while the rest of the students look on incredulously, including Santana who appears to have had enough. Will ends up in Figgins’ office and is told two things
1. There has been a complaint about his teaching
2. There is a tenured position available at the school
I didn’t know tenure was a thing in schools. Also, in my experience, complaining about a teacher to their colleagues is usually the worst idea ever (it’s possible my high school was worse than McKinley). Schuester moves on from dismay about the complaint to believing he’s the guy for tenure. His arguments have nothing to do with his skill or passion as a teacher. He argues that he has responsibilities. After all, he has Emma now. They might have a baby. And only Will can be the provider. I suppose given his last marriage, you might forgive him for believing it all rests on his shoulders.
But Figgins agrees — tenure is a possibility for Will.
Tenure is also a possibility for other teachers, including Sue (who has also had a complaint made). Since she won Nationals loads and they kept her on even when there were no Cheerios, I figured she already had tenure? Apparently not. And apparently she also sees tenure as the only way she can have a family.
But in telling people she wants a family, she gets mocked — except, actually, by Will, who merely expresses a level of incredulity after she drops the concept of possibility (of course, Will’s understanding of the reproductive process is famously poor). Santana and Coach Roz simply let loose immediately telling her what she’s allowed to do with her reproductive organs and also that she’s “done as a woman”. In Glee, as in life, the most awful things people say to others usually say more about them than about the person to whom the barbs are directed. If we use the actresses’ ages to give a guideline character age, Roz is not that much younger than Sue.
Coach Roz basically says “I’m almost as old as you and I’m terrified that my life is over because of my age and diminishing fertility. Don’t you dare show me my anxiety and terror are self inflicted. Also I taught your Cheerios a dance routine.”
There is a lot of “I’m rubber and you’re glue” going around here.
“I can do anything” says Sue, to herself, after a slew of people have told her that, no, she can’t.
For the record, there are plenty of fertility clinics that will treat women up to the age of 55. And some have conceived older too. What Sue is talking about is unlikely, possibly improbable, but certainly possible. And it’s Sue. If anyone can pull off improbable, it’s Sue. So everyone has to stop saying “But they’re telling her the truth.” They’re telling her their truths, which aren’t hers, or in any way objective, actual Truth.
Sue knows exactly who she is, and what of her nature she cannot leave behind; she can, it seems, only seek to contain it, by moving into a new future, in which, as mother, she must protect the imagined child from the truth of herself.
All of which brings us to Kurt, that boy without a mother, who Sue calls out early in the episode when she doesn’t want his sperm saying, “Let the weird end with you.” It’s hardly a reference to Kurt’s homosexuality.
Rather it’s a reference to Kurt’s voice, face, clothes and affect. He is a witch, one of the three weird sisters —
Sue settles of course, on Will. Emma objects, I guess, because she owns Will’s sperm, or something, just like everyone agrees that he owns her reproductive organs, right? Can’t wait to see how that episode goes.
Mercedes is busy trying to figure out why she can’t choose two boys who make her feel wonderful in different ways. She knows she can’t (she could), but she can’t decide who she wants. Just when things appear to be tilting towards Sam, Mercedes takes Shane’s arm and walks off with him as he scowls at Sam. Because however annoying Shane is, he must know what’s going on with Sam.
Rachel knows she can be engaged, because she is. Rachel says she can have it all. Mercedes worries that making a choice is risky and you might get it wrong. Kurt worries that love can tempt you away from your dreams. I want Rachel’s pajamas and nobody seems to know what they are.
Will is a terrible Spanish teacher. Senior Martinez is born to be a Spanish teacher, or a tooth model.
Kurt’s allowed to have a schoolboy crush on a teacher. It’s magic. I hope he tells Blaine about it. Blaine can tease him mercilessly and Kurt will tolerate it because he knows Blaine thinks it’s hot. Actually, I want them both to have a crush on
Ricky Martin Senior Martinez.
La Isla Bonita is one of my all-time favourite songs. I’m not a huge fan of the dance beat behind it, but I did love the gayest singer in the world (no, Elton John doesn’t come close, even with the hats) dancing with a fictional lesbian to “Where a girl loves a boy and a boy loves a girl.” It’s the little things that make Glee so much fun.
to be continued…